


A Perfect Sacrifice for Bad Coping Methods

by OrangeGutStew



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arson, Attempted Murder, Bad and Tommy are mentioned a few times, Dehumanization, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Manipulation, Not RPF, Other, Panic Attacks, Repetition, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Wilbur is like very briefly mentioned, like one line briefly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeGutStew/pseuds/OrangeGutStew
Summary: What are you to do when your best friend is hauled off to jail for multiple different crimes against the server? What are you to do when you realize you were nothing but a weapon to that friend? What are you to do?Arson?
Relationships: Dream Team - Relationship, Georgenotfound & Dream, Sapnap & GeorgeNotFound, sapnap & dream
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. 'Poetic Justice'

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings are all in the tags but I'll list them here too!  
> Panic attacks, dehumanization, violence, manipulation, gaslighting (possibly), derealization (possibly), attempted murder (eventually), unhealthy coping mechanisms (arson), repetition

Sapnap gripped the flint and steel in his hand tightly. He knew this wasn't a good way to vent his anger but he couldn't help it, fire was just so... comforting. The heat, the warmth, it reminded him of home. Of a place that felt- no- that was so far gone now. He was nothing but a weapon. His best friend doesn't care for him, Tommy had confirmed that one a few days ago.

_"To-Tommy I actually had a question so um- was it yesterday? Or- yeah- when Dream was uh- getting real mad at you, he said he didn't- he said he didn't care about anything but- surely he cares about me, right? You think?", Sapnap stuttered, desperation lacing his voice. He tried to keep his tone playful, trying to laugh off how strongly he felt._

_The silence from Tommy was deafening._

_"..Right Tommy?", Sapnap pressed, just needing a response even if it wasn't one he wanted to hear. "Surely he does, right?"_

_"...He cares about George, if that makes you feel any better.", Tommy finally said after another long pause._

_I_ _t didn't._

_"Wh-nono yeayeayea but surely he cares about me as well right- cause like- we're like friends ya know? Like best friends ya know like you- I think like he- he definitely cares about me right?", Sapnap couldn't hold himself back as he stuttered his way through his words. This was pathetic and he knew it._

_"Yes-!", Tommy tried to say, not wanting to ruin the man's mood anymore than it was. A little white lie wouldn't hurt, right?_

_"Y-Y-Y-You-You can- Tommy you don't have to- you can give it to me straight, I- I'm tough.", Sapnap's stutter only worsened, going against what he said._

_"He doesn't care about you.", Tommy said without hesitation, always one to be blunt. "You're just one of his many bitches."_

_"Oh..", Sapnap paused, that was like a crisp slap to the face on a cold day. "Uh.. Well-well th-th-th-that's okay, right- like I mean- that-that's fine."_

_"Well-", Tommy started. "It's very sad.."_

_"I mean b- that-that-that-", Sapnap stuttered, barely making words as he tried to say something- anything at all. "That-that's fine by me, ya know..!"_

_Tommy laughed nervously, an awkward chuckle as he knew he should have just lied. Or maybe said it a bit nicer.. Maybe calling him Dream's bitch was a bit much, he really just had no filter._

_"Oh- I'm sorry about that-!", Tommy tried to apologize, watching as Sapnap's shoulders shook slightly._

_"That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's fine! That's fine!", Sapnap tried to reassure, putting a laugh in his words to try and convince Tommy. Sure, the kid may have been stupid but he wasn't an idiot._

_"I'm sorry.", Tommy tried to apologize again, truly feeling sorry but_ _Sapnap only brushed it off with a big smile. Despite the smile's size, it didn't reach his eyes._

_"I mean, I'm friends with Tommyinnit now so thats okay.", Sapnap finally said, throwing an arm around the boy as he laughed. Playing off his heartbroken state as his other hand curled repeatedly, trying to keep himself calm. It was okay. It would be okay._

It wasn't okay.

It was so far from okay! His world felt like it was crashing down around him as everything seemed to reveal itself.

He was just a weapon. He was always just a weapon to Dream. Nothing more, nothing less. Always pushed to the side except when Dream needed someone to fight on his side. And loyal, devoted, idiotic Sapnap would always be the first one there.

Even as Dream pushed Sapnap to the side for George, he would still be there. Even when Dream did things that would stir doubt into Sapnap, he would still be there with no hesitation. Even when Dream fought against him all because of some stupid "pet war", he would forgive him and would be right back at his side. Even when he got wind of what Dream had done to Tommy, he would still have that stupid persistent pull to be there. 

But Tommy was a kid and, despite their own history and how stupidly arrogant he was, Sapnap knew it was wrong. So he ignored the pull to be at Dream's side and showed up in that stupid vault room, confronting Dream with the rest of the server on that faithful day. Watched his friend get slaughtered by his victim before he was hauled off to the jail he originally commissioned.

'Poetic justice', Wilbur probably would have said that if he was there.

Sapnap hadn't even noticed he reached his destination until a loud sharp crunch snapped him out of his thoughts. A twig had crunched under his bare shoe. He hadn't brought his armor with him, just a sword, a flint and steel, and a golden apple. He just needed to get out and away. Hopefully a dark oak forest miles and multiple forests away from anyone else should be far enough.

As Sapnap glanced at the trees in front of him, his hold on the flint and steel tightened. He moved over to the familiar clearing and walked to a thinner tree that was a bit apart from any others, it looked like it could fall over if a strong enough windstorm passed through.

_A perfect sacrifice for bad coping methods._

The tree caught fire quickly. The crackle and heat of it made Sapnap sigh. In relief? Delight? Something else? He didn't know or care.

Sitting down in front of a burning tree and watching it burn until it was nothing but a tall smoldering stick in the ground was as relaxing to him as classic music was to others. But eventually he laid back and stared up at the sky, bright stars looking back at him as the tree's smoke tried to cover them. It didn't, the initial fire being too small and the stars being too bright. The pathetic display almost made Sapnap laugh.

Sapnap laid there for a while, just staring at the stars and the smoke until the smoke slowly stopped filtering into the air and the heat simmered significantly. The fire was finally out and Sapnap knew it would just be a waste of time to burn another. He was calm enough for now anyway. Seemed like most of his thoughts burned away on the walk to the clearing if anything.

So he left.

Left the burned tree alone as he passed by a few more old burned trees, he returned to this place a lot recently and today would most likely not be the last time.


	2. The days when they were a team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bittersweet trip down memory lane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings are all in the tags but I'll list them here too!  
> Panic attacks, dehumanization, violence, manipulation, gaslighting (possibly), derealization (possibly), attempted murder (eventually), unhealthy coping mechanisms (arson), repetition

Sapnap found himself in the clearing again. Another day, another tree burning before him. Two trees actually, rough day. The clearing was almost like it was collecting the burned remnants now, sectioning the char from the outside world like it was a plague that had to be contained. 

Fire spread like a plague, did you know that? 

It would be so easy for him to let the fire continue and spread. Spread to all the trees, burn down the whole forest. But for some reason, he stopped himself. Stopped himself from destroying so much mother nature so suddenly. He just couldn't bring himself to do it when his eyes landed on the tall tree like mushrooms. They taunted him. Reminding him of George.

George.

Sapnap muttered to himself, getting angry all over again. George. It's always George! 

_"He cares about George, if that makes you feel any better."_ , Tommy's voice rang through Sapnap's head for the millionth time. 

Of course Dream fucking cared about George.

But, despite his anger and regret, Sapnap couldn't force himself to burn down the stupid mushroom trees. Couldn’t even force himself to step on a little mushroom! Instead, his thoughts went back to a better time. A time when he was younger, running through a forest with Dream and George with no care in the world.

_"You can't get me!", Sapnap laughed loudly as his friends chased after him, already having quite the lead._

_He weaved through multiple trees before finally ending up at a beautiful clearing. Large trees shadowed a crystal clear river that seemed to cut through the whole forest from what he could see. Unnoticed by the distracted boy, fast approaching footsteps got closer until he was slammed to the ground. A body crashed into Sapnap and they were quickly rolling around on the ground, shoving at each other as they laughed loudly._

_However, Dream and Sapnap's little tousle was cut short when they heard a small hiccup from behind them. Taking a quick look around, Sapnap realized they managed to make it near one of the large trees before his eyes settled on George. He was sat crouched down, head bowed down as he looked at the dirt in front of him._

_"Are you okay?", Dream asked, pinned under Sapnap while his hands held onto Sapnap's wrists. George only continued to hiccup in response, small shoulders shaking as he started sobbing. The boys quickly scrambled off of each other and ran to George's side, noticing he was looking down at a cluster of small squashed mushrooms._

_"Hey, it's okay.", Dream tried to comfort as they both sat at George's side._

_"You-you guys killed them!", George sobbed as Sapnap rubbed his back. And they sat like that for a while, comforting George until he got too tired from crying and passed out in his friends' hold. Dream helped lift George onto Sapnap's back before they walked back to Sapnap's house, talking quietly to not wake up the sleeping boy._

Sapnap almost laughed at the memory as he clicked together the flint and steel in his hands. He missed those days. The days when they were a team- a _trio_. Not a duo. No favorites. No problems. Just a group of three childhood friends who would always be there for each other. 

But they grew up. 

And as they grew, Dream's obvious favoritism shone through. And maybe that's why Sapnap was so eager to please Dream, to be by his side. To fight for him. To be his weapon. 

Right.

His weapon. Nothing more, nothing less.

Just a weapon. A weapon that couldn't even do _that_ right! It was pathetic. _He_ was pathetic. 

The quick repeated clicking of the flint and steel was almost getting overwhelming at this point. So, Sapnap set another tree alight in a fluid and practiced motion. But this time, he didn't even sit down, just stood too close to the tree as it burned. He needed the heat so desperately. To be reminded of home. To the old days where he, Dream, and George all sat huddled in front of the fireplace, his dad having placed a large thin blanket around the three sleeping boys.

_Bad laughed softly at the sight of his son and his friends, huddled together in front of the lit fireplace. They were even clung to Sapnap as if he was a heater, he was naturally pretty warm after all. Guess the dip in the river earlier still had them feeling cold. Bad looked at the boys lovingly for just a second longer before quietly walking off to a nearby closet. He returned to the room with a large thin blanket and draped it around them gently. He would definitely end up telling Skeppy all about this the next day._

Sapnap almost growled under his breath. He didn't want to think about better times. He couldn't have them back so why waste his current time?! Dream was in prison, George is who fuckin knows where, and something was seriously wrong with his dad!

He was all alone.

The heat of the tree died down as Sapnap muttered swears and words under his breath. But he was still warm. Too warm. He could feel the heat radiate from his skin as smoke started to form from the fresh flames in his hair. But they didn't increase anymore than that. In fact, it was like once he realized it, it stopped. Simmering down to a smolder as tears fell down his face, a few sizzling upon making contact with his still hot skin.

_He just wanted his family back._


	3. Like it was a lifeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, worry can quite easily overrun any negative feelings you have over an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter specific warnings: Panic attacks, arson, mentions of violence

George froze in shock when he noticed smoke start to billow into the air, all the way past the tree tops. Where was that? Was that his house?

No.

No, no, no, not again! He specifically settled in a forest so far away from everything just so something like this wouldn't happen again! 

George sped walked towards the smoke, weaving through the familiar trees. It didn't seem to be by his home yet but what if the fire spread and burned the whole forest down? He quickened his pace until he was closing in on a familiar clearing. 

Oh. 

Of course. 

Usually it was relatively empty, the only thing that seemed to occupy it recently were the burned remnants of trees. They were the only evidence that something or someone was near him. But it seemed like today, George may finally find out just what has been burning his trees for the past 2 months.

So to see Sapnap stood there in front of the start of a burning tree was.. a shock to say the least. And of course thoughts immediately ran through George's head like one bullet train after another, all ready to crash into each other.

Was- was Sapnap really the one who has been burning down this area of his forest? Did he know George lived in this forest? Did he really still hate him that much? Hate him so much to inevitably burn down his home? Working from the outskirts inward just to _taunt_ him? Maybe Sapnap didn't know! No- he isn't that dumb.. If-If he wanted to burn things to cool off he surely would have just burned some paper and old books like he used to do often.

But the click of a flint and steel brought George out of his thoughts. Watching as Sapnap sparked a flame onto another tree. He- he usually didn't burn more at one per visit! Usually George would see a single new burned tree every other day. He made it a routine to check the clearing after the first time he saw a handful of burned trees in the area. This wasn't right.

He was ready to storm right over to Sapnap, tell him to stop and leave, but he was frozen again. God, _why_ does he have to be such a _coward_ in the worst times possible? 

But maybe, maybe that was for the better this time. 

Sapnap was muttering something as he clicked the flint and steel together, not yet lighting it. He would do that a lot, George remembered that. Sapnap said it calmed him sometimes, the clicking pleasing to him. 

But the clicking was getting quicker, desperate. Like it was a lifeline.

In a swift motion, Sapnap set another tree alight, the first two barely settling down. He didn't move as the flames engulfed the tree. Just stood there, way too close to the flames, as they crackled. He was muttering to himself again, clenching and unclenching his hands together repeatedly. George could only watch as little fires sprung in Sapnap's hair, smoke forming from them quickly. George knew the exact scale at which Sapnap could explode. If he stood in the middle of the clearing and got upset enough, the whole clearing could be scorched.

But the flames didn't increase.

They just stayed at a surprisingly stable state even as his muttering got worse and his shoulders started to shake. It took him a while after the third tree's flames died down to make a move.

It was a quick move. A blink and you'll miss it type of move.

Sapnap had punched the still cooling tree in frustration. It was surprisingly sturdy even in its fucked up state, _especially_ compared to just how hard Sapnap could punch.

George knew that feeling well.

Memories of an old fight wanted to resurface, to remind him of the broken nose he gave Sapnap as well as the black eye and bruised rib he received, but he shoved them away. This was not the place nor time to worry about shit like that!

Especially not when Sapnap turned around suddenly, stalking off into the dark night as the flames in his hair started to die down and-...?

Was he.. _crying_?

George hadn't seen the man cry in a long time. A _very_ long time.

Once he was sure Sapnap was far enough away, George ran home. He was going to help his friend one way or another, he decided. At home, George scribbled down his message on 2 simple yellow connected post-it notes.

_Sapnap,_

_I see you've been burning these trees recently and I just wanted to leave you a note. I worry about you Sapnap. Despite everything that has happened between us, I don't want to see you hurting. You're my friend Sap. You always have been. You don't have to but if you ever just want to be out of the cold, come visit. My house is a bit deep into the forest (coordinates and directions will be on the 2nd note). There will be a spare key in the usual place (also written on the 2nd if you forgot)._

_-George_

George ran back to the clearing and carefully taped the note to the burned tree, making sure the contrasting yellow note would be completely visible against the slightly warm burnt black wood. 

He could only hold onto hope as he hesitantly left the clearing. Hope that Sapnap would at least _see_ the note if he returned again.

_And if he was being honest, he just wanted his friend back._

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers:  
> No shipping, just purely friendships.  
> Completely fictional and set in the DreamSmp. Everyone mentioned are just the characters and not the real people.  
> This is set after Dream is put in the prison. The plot for this was also made before he kills Tommy in the prison so that does not happen here.


End file.
